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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29439276">Love me anyway</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticdean/pseuds/chaoticdean'>chaoticdean</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Human Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), M/M, Misunderstandings, TheirLoveWasReal, no beta we die on rusty nails like dean in the finale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:14:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,263</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29439276</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticdean/pseuds/chaoticdean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After more than a decade of thorough observation, Dean thought for sure that he knew everything about Cas — how he likes his morning coffee, the temperature of the shower they share, or the color of his underwear. Turns out he might have been mistaken. (Or the one where Dean is purposely being an idiot)</p><p><a href="http://theirlovewasreal.tumblr.com">#TheirLoveWasReal fanwork challenge</a>, day 1: Discovery.</p><p>
  <em>Titled after "Love Me Anyway" by P!nk and Chris Stapleton.</em>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>171</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Their Love Was Real: a Destiel &amp; Saileen Fanworks Challenge</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Love me anyway</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is your friendly reminder that this work is unbeta'd, and that English isn't my mother-tongue. Be kind :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>It starts happening on a random morning, when Cas stumbles into the kitchen all grumpy and still sleepy, raven hair sticking in <em> at least </em>twelve different directions — and he goes for green tea instead of his beloved morning coffee. </p><p>Dean frowns watching him prepare a cup, banging stuff too loudly on the kitchen island as he scrambles to find everything he needs. Dean’s robe is tightly wrapped around him, he’s only wearing his boxers underneath and Dean’s mouth waters a little at the sight of Cas’ perfect chest and the glimpse of the tattoo on his ribs. For a split second he considers doing something extremely reckless — you know, involving ripping the damn robe off and bending the once upon an Angel over the table; something along those lines) before remembering that this is a common area and Sam, Jack or Eileen could walk in at any given point.</p><p>So instead of stripping Cas of his (well, <em> Dean’s</em>) robe and having his way with his hot boyfriend, Dean leans in when Cas finally sits next to him and kisses the living shit out of him.</p><p>“What was that for?” Cas smiles against his lips afterward, a hand wrapped around his cup of tea while the other goes to Dean’s thigh. “Did I forget my birthday or something?</p><p>“Something,” Dean smiles back, brushing his mouth against Cas’ lips once more before leaning back. He frowns as Cas starts sipping his tea. “I thought you didn’t like to have tea in the morning?”</p><p>It’s no secret that Cas doesn’t like morning. Well, that’s the understatement of the century, even. He loathes morning, makes a big show out of having to get out of bed before 10, and when he does get out of bed before that time he <em>has </em>to get through 2 cups of coffee <em>minimum </em>before he starts being amenable. </p><p>Which is why Dean is so surprised to see him being awake and <em>not </em>going for coffee. </p><p>Cas smirks into his cup, his hand still tracing patterns on Dean’s thigh, probably unaware that the simple gesture is currently turning Dean into a hot babbling mess. Well, scratch that. Judging by the knowing smile on his face, his boyfriend knows <em>exactly </em>what he’s been doing.</p><p>“I do. I’ve just been favoring coffee all this time, but I actually love getting tea in the morning.”</p><p>Dean shrugs, feeling a bit surprised that after a decade of observing Cas he never figured that out. “Alright. Well, finish your tea and we’ll head out, okay?”</p><p>Cas nods as Dean rises from his seat and kisses his cheek before heading down the bunker garage to prep his Lady. </p><p>To his surprise, it keeps happening.</p><p>He finds out one morning that Cas actually like taking his shower colder than what they’ve been doing for months. At night while the former angel is reading next to him in bed, he realizes that Cas apparently likes paperback more than hardcover, but never felt the need to comment on it before Dean brings it up (“I don’t see what’s the big deal about it, Dean” he says, and maybe he’s right, he’s <em> right</em>.)</p><p>And it keeps happening, over and over.</p><p>Cassette tapes over vinyl records. White wine one over red. Soccer over football (this one, Dean’s not sure he can get past it). Led Zeppelin III over IV (this one Dean let slides, because “Tangerine” is on Led Zeppelin III, and <em>yeah, okay</em>, maybe Cas has a point).</p><p>It simmers for days, and Dean doesn’t really understand why it keeps him on edge. It keeps bothering him to the point where he starts snapping at Cas for the tiniest thing, from discovering that Cas favors banana yogurt over strawberry ones, to the fact that he actually likes putting black pepper into his fries (“Who <em> does </em> that, Cas?!”, “Well I do, it’s good for your health and I like when it’s <em> spicy </em> . Would you please stop being an ass?”, “Oh <em> I’m </em>an ass now?”, “YES!!”)</p><p>They’ve just gone to bed that night and they’re well on their way into a thorough make-out session when Dean freezes while Cas is kissing the underside of his jaw steadily, both his arms firmly wrapped around Dean’s chest. </p><p>“Cas?”</p><p>“Mhm,” the ex-angel answers, apparently still too deeply dedicated to mapping out the fine line of his jaw with his lips to stop. “What?”</p><p>“Why are you wearing orange boxers?”</p><p>And it’s nothing, really. Dean doesn’t know why it phases him, why he literally <em>has </em>to stop to acknowledge the color of his boyfriend’s underwear just because they’re not white or black like they <em>always </em>are. If he had to take a step back and analyze his behavior, he wouldn’t even know <em>why the fuck </em>he’s behaving the way he does.</p><p>“I don’t know, why does it matter?” Cas responds, his lips slipping down Dean’s neck, finding that sweet spot right where Dean’s shoulder meets his throat that tends to make Dean whimpers.</p><p>“It does.”</p><p>
  <em> It doesn’t really, I don’t know why it does, please don’t be mad at me. </em>
</p><p>“<em>Why </em>?” Cas says, raising his head to glare at Dean.</p><p>“Because it’s <em> unusual </em>.”</p><p>“What do you mean ‘unusual’?” Cas asks, and Dean tries not to smile at the obvious air quotes.</p><p> That, at least, is usual.</p><p>“I mean why are you doing unusual stuff all the time?”</p><p>“I’m trying to have sex with you!”</p><p>“And I’m trying to figure out why the hell you’re wearing orange briefs in bed!”</p><p>“Okay,” Cas interrupts, his voice tense as he untangles himself from Dean and rolls over on the other side of the bed. “I’ve had enough.”</p><p>Dean instantly misses the warmth and content, and there’s a weight at the bottom of his stomach that tells him this is not going to be a pleasant moment. He turns to look at Cas, and finds the other man looking at him like… Well, if Cas could still smite people, Dean’s pretty sure he would smite the hell out of him right now.</p><p>He’s not sure if his arousal rising in spikes at the sight is a good thing, but that’s probably a subject for later.</p><p>“What the hell is wrong with you?” Cas says, and suddenly he looks more tired than pissed off, more concerned than anything else.</p><p>“I —,”</p><p>“If you try and tell me that nothing is wrong, I’m going to walk out of there and sleep in <em> my </em>room.”</p><p>“This <em>is </em>your room,” Dean argues, already feeling his heart sink inside his chest at the mere thought of sleeping without Cas for the first time since they got him back from the Empty months ago.</p><p>“Is it? You’re acting weird, you’ve been acting weird for weeks, and you refuse to tell me why. Why does it matter that I like tomatoes more than mushrooms? Or that I like a different beer than you? Or that I’m wearing bright orange briefs instead of black? Why are you making a fuss over stupid things? Is it your way of telling me that you’ve made a mistake?”</p><p>“What?!” </p><p>Cas looks so sad suddenly that it sends a spark of fear through Dean’s nerves and in the span of 2 seconds he’s kissing Cas again. It’s soft and assured, and it takes a few seconds before Cas kisses back, both of his thumbs brushing Dean’s cheekbone while his hands cup Dean’s jaw. When they finally part, slightly out of breath, Cas’ cobalt blue eyes are a little bit lighter but it’s still not enough for Dean.</p><p>“You think <em> I think </em>I’ve made a mistake?” he asks softly, nosing at Cas’ cheek. “Are you insane?”</p><p>“I think I don’t know what’s going on with you because you don’t <em>talk</em>, therefore I’m left to my imagination when it comes to figuring out what’s going on. I’m human now, I don’t… I’m not really good at that.”</p><p>Dean closes his eyes, relishing the feeling of Cas’ hands slipping his hands down his neck to his shoulder, brushing his fingers against his skin. </p><p>“Will you tell me what’s wrong? Why you keep making a big deal out of things like this? Did I do something wrong?”</p><p>“No, no. I’m just…” Dean huffs, looking down on their bed. “I’m just being stupid.”</p><p>Castiel slips a finger underneath his chin and lifts his head back up to look at him. Once their eyes connect, his thumb pads at Dean’s lower lip and Dean closes his eyes.</p><p>“Talk to me,” Cas pleads softly. “Please, Dean.”</p><p>“I just —,” Dean sighs. “I feel like I’m a bad boyfriend.”</p><p>Cas smiles softly at that, slips his thumb to the corner of Dean’s mouth, and kisses Dean softly on the lips. Almost chaste, and it still sets Dean’s inside on fire.</p><p>“Why do you feel that way?”</p><p>“Because I keep… You keep doing things and I keep discovering sides of you that I didn’t know, and I’ve known you for… What? A whole decade and even more?”</p><p>“So you didn’t know everything about me. What’s the big deal?”</p><p>“It is a big deal! I thought I had everything about you memorized and here I am still discovering things that I was sure I knew differently, and I just… Feel bad, ‘cause I should know.”</p><p>Cas just stares at him dumbfounded.</p><p>“I’m being an idiot, aren’t I?” Dean scoffs, hiding his face into Cas’ shoulder.</p><p>Castiel’s hand slips into Dean’s hair, carding softly through the dirty blonde locks as Dean breathes against him.</p><p>“I don’t think you’re an idiot,” he says after a moment, his voice that specific tone of thoughtful it gets when he’s thinking. “I think you dislike changes, and me doing some stuff differently probably confused you.”</p><p>“I just thought I knew everything about you. I <em> should </em>know everything about you.”</p><p>“You do, Dean. Hey,” Cas says, leaning back to look at him. “You <em>do</em>. You know all of the most important things about me. Not knowing about me liking banana yogurt better than any other isn’t relevant to you being a good or bad boyfriend, Dean.”</p><p>Dean can’t help but smile at that.</p><p>“There’s nothing wrong with discovering new things about the person you love. I’m learning new things about you every day, too.”</p><p>“What? No, you know everything there is to know about me,” Dean protests, lying on his side to look at him.</p><p>Cas looks at him, slightly unimpressed.</p><p>“You pretend that you like your coffee black but you actually like it better with a little bit of cream and sugar. You make a big deal out of categorizing your record collection in alphabetical order but if the same artist’s records aren’t ranked from older to more recent you tend to lose your shit. You hate waking up when I’m already out of bed. You like the blue laundry softener better than the pink one because you like the scent of fresh cotton better than anything flowery. You can fall asleep to any song on Led Zeppelin IV or Metallica’s black album, but anything by AC/DC will keep you awake. You mumble very sweet stuff when you're in that very specific “not asleep but not quite awake” state before you actually fall asleep. You like your shower scalding hot and your beer ice cold. Do you want me to continue?”</p><p>Dean’s staring. He’s aware that he’s staring, and that the sight might not be the sexiest thing of the year, but his mouth is open and he’s <em>staring</em>.</p><p>“My point is,” Cas continues, smiling at Dean. “It’s okay to discover new things about the person you share your life with. I don’t… I can’t say that I have a lot of experience with how relationships work, but I think it’s healthy. And I don’t think you’re a bad boyfriend just because you,” he gestures at his underwear. “Didn’t know that I liked wearing bright underwear.”</p><p>Dean laughs at that and Cas kisses the corner of his mouth, his cheek, then the bolt of his jaw, earning a groan from Dean. </p><p>“For the record, I didn’t know either,” he says in a whisper. “That’s the other thing about all of this. I’m human now, and everything is different. I guess I’m still discovering new things about myself every day.”</p><p>“Okay. I’m sorry for being an ass,” Dean says as Castiel straddles his lap, Dean’s arm automatically wrapping around him, his eyes never leaving the other man’s.</p><p>“You know what’s something I’m still as sure of as the very first day?” Cas asks, looking down on Dean with a smile on his face, hands around Dean’s neck.</p><p>“How much of an idiot I am?” </p><p>“How much I love you.”</p><p>And well, yeah. That’s as solid as an argument can get. And if Dean’s heart stops hammering for a second, if his eyes start prickling at the corner, if his smile goes as wide as it can go, that’s nobody’s business but their own.</p><p>“Can we return to me trying to have sex with you now?” Cas asks with a knowing smirk. “Because we’re not getting any younger here.”</p><p>Dean smirks back and rolls both of them over until he is solidly lying on top of Cas. </p><p>“Talk for yourself here, old man, I’m the youngster,” he says with a shit-eating grin before diving back to sharing open-mouthed, filthy kisses like a teenager.</p><p>And after finding out that Cas actually <em>likes </em>certain new things in bed that night, Dean thinks that maybe changing and discovering new things about your ex-angel of a boyfriend isn’t <em>that </em>big of a deal, in the end.</p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Rebloggable on <a href="https://chaoticdean.tumblr.com/post/643124710069190656/love-me-anyway">Tumblr</a></strong>
  </em>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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